Alfred: I’m afraid I don’t have any open positions right now available
Danny: There isn’t? But what about the ad on Gotham Job Connects saying a nanny was needed at Wayne Manor?
Alfred: I am unsure how that go on there but I can assure you, no one here put up that-
Damian: Excuse me, are you Daniel Fenton?
Danny: *Blinks down at child* Oh um yes I am.
Damian: Excellent. You’re right on time for your interview. Please follow me.
Alfred: Master Damian? You put up a ad for a nanny?
Damian: That’s right.
Alfred: You….want someone to care for you?
Damian: Heavens no. I’m searching for a nanny for the real child of the house. I know you’re overwhelmed with the day to day duties running the household and didn’t want you to have a heart attack from the stress. A professional nanny would lift the load off your shoulders.
Danny:That’s so sweet that you care so much for your staff. Who’s the child you want someone to help take care of? You’re baby brother or sister?
Damian: My father.
Danny: …..
Alfred embarrassed:Master Damian….why would you-?
Damian:Richard says Father acts like a child, and children need minding if they make idiotic decisions too often.
Danny: …..
Alfred: I’m terrible sorry about this young man. I’ll reimburse any millage you wasted driving out here.
Danny: No, it’s okay. I-
Damian: The pay is fifty dollars a hour. Eighty hours every two weeks. We cover all benefits such as medical, dental, vision and auto insurance, and lodging can be provided if needed. Depending on how long we need your services I’ll set up a retirement fund for you matching your bi-weekly pay.
Danny: So I would be like a in home caregiver? Most of my experience is with children but I’m sure I could handle your father.
Alfred: Master Damian!
Damian: *Hands Alfred a piece of paper*
Alfred after reading it: How soon can you start sir?
I really need to know what was on the paper?
Was it a list of everything Bruce had done in his Brucie mask that made Alfred feel so very old? Was it just the sentence “For once in your life, Pennyworth, let your petty side win”?
I propose a bet: with this Nanny we can get Father to have a semi-regular sleep schedule and more frequent meals that aren’t protein shakes. Give me a month. We can determine the rules of the bet at a later time.
Alfred read the note and couldn’t deny the spark of petty satisfaction the idea gave him. It just might work.
I, and I think a lot of us in the Discord server, headcanon that Dark Jak behaves like some sort of street cat that rummages through trash cans and brings home prey as gifts…la creatura. Daxter tries his best to deal with it without freaking out 🥹
